Monday, October 7, 2019

Visited by an old friend





Leslie and Rick finally made their way to the camp.  She’s had infections that have prevented them from coming at the time of the two previously scheduled attempts.  This time, we had other friends here, but I think their presence added to the experience for Leslie and Rick. And for Mary and me, since their upbeat that positive attitudes helped keep the melancholy from overwhelming the weekend.

Les has been fighting a brain tumor for many years.  When it returned about 2 year ago (I could well have the time frame wrong), the doctors decided to treat it aggressively with chemo and radiation.  This was a second, at least, round of treatment. From what Rick says, the frontal lobe radiation seems to have very negatively affected Leslie’s functioning.  Obviously, Rick wishes treatment had more beneficial effect.

15 months ago, Leslie was driving to her treatment sessions.  Now, she gets stuck. She has to be coaxed through the activities of daily living, and needs to be helped from one place to another both for balance issues and for lack of the cognitive process to connect moving her feet with the objective of getting from point A to point B.

Rick has retired (or otherwise left IBM, which is another long story of corporate malfeasance) to take care of Leslie more or less full time.  They have people coming in to help from time to time, but that is minimal. Their daughter, Sophia, is also home to help at least some. She is an energetic young woman building a career in environmental advocacy.  Having her nearby at least part of the time is a big plus for Leslie and Rick.

I can imagine what Rick is going through as the caregiver, but I’m sure I don’t grasp half of the requirements and toll of the arduous task.  His entire existence is consumed by Leslie’s care. I suppose there is some backward blessing in the fact Leslie sleeps a lot, since during that time Rick can attend somewhat to his own needs, however inadequately.  It is certainly not an existence one would choose.  

My heart breaks for them both.  Their unfortunate example instructs us all to enjoy every day to the fullest.  Which hopefully, by their visit, they were doing.



We all played “Oh Hell,” on Saturday night, and on Friday, Rick and Les were able to go canoeing and enjoy the wind, water, and bright colors of the fall foliage.




As I helped Leslie into their car so they could depart, I gave her a kiss and a hug, remembering a similar embrace with our friend Ginny, gone ten (?) years now.  Tears welled up, so I turned away briefly before regaining enough composure to shake Rick’s hand and encourage them to come again anytime. I even managed a couple of silly one-footed, precariously balanced poses as Leslie waved while Rick backed the car out to turn around and leave.

They are headed to see Leslie’s Mom next weekend and another friend the one after that.  Mary wonders if Rick is taking her to see old friends before she can’t see them anymore. I would not bet against it.





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