Mom

 

Mom experienced a slow decline that really became an issue when she lost her sight.  A tenuous grip on reality was relaxed, and her existence became more and more difficult.  Her lucid times became a smaller and smaller portion of the total, and the already compromised quality of life dipped lower and lower.

The Doctors said that there was little wrong with her visual system, so we had to believe that it was another example of the neurological issues she experienced due to dementia.  I can only imagine that fading into darkness was an intensely scary and difficult process for her. However, we cling to the good moments, however fleeting. And the memories of who she really was.

Mom loved baking.  She was in her element when turning out batches and batches of cookies.  Her entire family was happy that she loved to bake. Cookie distribution was appreciated, particularly since there was only one bowl to lick.

Mom loved tennis.  She enjoyed playing, watching, and coaching.  She very much enjoyed her time as JV coach at Greece Athena High School.  She even had a tennis court installed in her yard. We often hear from people who got their first tennis lesson on that court.  

Mom loved playing games.  Competitively. One did not play board or card games casually in her household.  Everyone was required to do their best to win.

Mom loved her husband Keith.  

 

Just after Dad took his final breath, Mom said, "I liked what we did."

"What do you mean, Mom?"

"The sixty years.  Our sixty years together.  I liked that."

Fun-loving Mom was full of life.  She thrived on being busy, and one of many ways to fill her time was gardening.  Anywhere Mom resided was sure to have a garden. And she was always willing to help others get started by sharing this love of hers.  And cuttings. And bulbs. And expertise.

Mom loved her grand-kids.  She would often play games with them or have them “help” her bake. She loved to go to their sporting events and cheer them on. She was happy to hold their birthday parties and share the good fortune of her cottage with them.

Mom loved to be at that cottage on Keuka lake.  It had everything she needed. A garden, a place to swim, friends to invite and visit, and a nice little dwelling for her and Keith to enjoy.  It was an effective lure for her children and grand-children. And when they visited, she really had everything.

Dogs were very important to Mom.  Blackie, Peppy, Snowball, Cracker and finally Ginger.  When her living situation changed such that she could no longer care for her dog, Ginger’s care was foremost in her mind.  Her children were somewhere lower in the pecking order, but that is forgivable because she was confident she taught them to take care of themselves.

Mom loved music, and she loved to sing.  On their rides to and from Keuka Lake, Keith got the benefit of her singing as she practiced along with tapes of the Sweet Adelines.  And that practice resulted in many trips for concerts and competitions thoroughly enjoyed.

"Mom used to do crafts with her kids all the time," Mary said, while visiting her.  Grananne, Mom's best friend, was sitting on the other side of Mom's wheelchair, gently squeezing her hand. Her "Grananne" moniker was appropriate, because like Mom, her name is Anne, and she was a second grandmother to our children. We would often take her to see Mom.

"Yes, she did." said Grananne.  "I remember one time when they even made down jackets,"

"Impressive," replied Mary.  "Mom, did you make down jackets with the kids?"

With eyes closed and speaking for the first time during our visit, Mom said, "Yes, we did."  At this point in her decline, we could not be sure if it was a moment of cognizance or a random statement finding relevance. But you know what we believed.

 

Regardless, that was Mom.  Always doing something. Always working on a project, or on several projects at the same time for the benefit of others.  Often late into the night.

Yes, that was Mom.